What If?

Sometimes,
In the middle of afternoon
I wonder..
What if?
Years, I'd been doing this.
Then, I come to realize that
Nothing good comes after 'what if?'
So, I motived myself to stop this addiction.
I call it addiction,
because it's hard to get rid of.
In this life full of chaos;
In this world filled with disappointment,
'What if?' brings that fleeting content
What if I said it out loud?
That I loved her inside out..
She might said the same thing too.
Our feeling could be mutual.
What if I tough it out?
I could be smiling victorious right now.
What if I were more appreciative?
I could have not been so lonely right now.
What if?
The mind never stop asking
My heart can't stop questioning.
The verse is like a curse
that comes from the universe.