I Open My Eyes Whilst They Have Never Been Closed

I close my eyes...

The green trees were there.
The sky was blue.
The people were all white and grey.
And I was there.

I was afraid of the future.
It was full of promises. Full of ambiguities.
I was afraid of leaving everything behind.
But I realized, my everything was nothing.

I was crying. Soon I would parted with my friends.
I hugged them and they hugged back. It was more a formality than an emotion.
I saw them. Those who cried sincerely.
I smiled cynically. Envying them severely.

I was afraid of losing what I didn't have.
I was scared that her smile would be for another guy whilst it was never for me.
I was terrified that she would forget me while she had never remembered my name.
I was afraid she would go... She had never stayed.

I wanted to cry but I couldn't.
Sometimes I thought I didn't have heart at all.
But then what was it if not a heart hurt?
When my chest ached so hard...

A sound in my mind tells me.
"You are not those people."
Then who am I?
The sound ceases.

And I am here.
Sitting and thinking.
Doing nothing at particular
when tomorrow soon comes.

The answer will come
when it is too late already.
And what else I can do?
What will you do?

I open my eyes...